The Beginning...
by Judecca
Summary: Plot? We needed a plot? No one told me we needed a plot!! This fic is totally random but VERY very funny. Includes hippopotami, Bill Clinton flying Heavy Arms and- well- it can include LOTS of stuff because it's being written by different people! R&R!
1.

BWAHAHA! *evil laughter* Yay! I've been given the power to start!!   
Howdy, You can call me Lady. Typically, I write humorous stuff that ends up   
torturing my fave characters. *wolfish grin* We'll see what we can do   
today.   
  
Seeing as my RIG (Random Idea Generator) is having an off day and tends   
to only gets inspired by other people's works… my only idea is sorta   
pathetic. I'll save it for my own file so I don't ruin our collective   
good name.   
  
Ooh! Fic Idea!  
  
  
  
Chapter One by Lady  
  
  
  
  
Duo Maxwell, self-proclaimed gundam pilot extraordinaire, was sitting   
on his ass in front of the TV, munching away on some stale chips he had   
come across in the kitchen. Hmm… talk shows… interesting… man, those   
trailer trash people just keep getting more- well- trashy…  
  
"Duo!" Quatre's eyes bugged out when he saw the mess. "What have you   
done to my living room?!"  
  
Duo glanced up. "Uhhhh… redecorated?"  
  
Quatre sputtered for a few minutes. Duo took the opportunity to return   
to his show. The room was a pigsty- if possible, it looked worse than   
Duo's room usually got. Duo did eventually get around to neatening that   
every so often when it became unbreathable in there. He had to live   
there and he did have SOME standards. But public living space- that was   
outside Duo's minute jurisdiction. "C- clean this up! Now!"  
  
"I thought you had servants to do that."  
  
Quatre spluttered again. "I don't expect them to clean up something   
TOXIC!"  
  
"I'll do it later," Duo shrugged.  
  
More spluttering from the pale Q-dude.  
  
"You'll clean it up, NOW," Duo found himself staring down the barrel   
of Heero's gun for the twelfth time that day, 532nd time that week, and   
several thousandth- no maybe millionth- time that month. Let's not even   
THINK about a yearly scale or anything bigger…  
  
"Hey, Heero! What's up?" Duo said cheerfully. Heero had never shot him   
before, it was unlikely that he would over a little mess like thi-  
  
"You'll get up off your rear and clean this up NOW or I will do you   
serious bodily harm. You have an hour." Heero said, picking his way past   
the mess and out of the room.  
  
Quatre breathed a sigh of relief. He really hadn't wanted to have to   
get blood out of the carpet again… His family and servants were starting   
to worry about just what went on when they left the boys to their own   
devices…   
  
"Why only an hour?" Duo asked. He and Quatre peered down the hallway.  
  
Heero paused outside the door to his room. "I have a friend coming   
over. One hour, Duo. Spotless. Or I WILL do you serious bodily harm. I'm   
going to go clean up now." He locked the door behind him.  
  
Quatre and Duo stared at the closed door blankly.  
  
"Heero- has- a- a- FRIEND? Who's coming HERE!?"  
  
  
  
  
  
Short. Sweet. Nice lil cliffhanger. Yeah, you gotta have those if   
you're gonna start sommat like this.  
  
So whut'd u think? Did it suck? Was it WONDERFUL? Is it WAY to soon to   
tell just where this is going? Ooh- I wanna see where whoever picks it   
up decides to take it! I've created a monster! Argh!   
  
R&R!  
  
-Lady 


	2. 

Aw, shit, aw, shit, aw, shit... I can't believe I accidentally deleted my chapter... That means that I have to write the whole damn thing over again... Well, whatever, I, theguywhohasaname..., am writing the second chapter to this....  
  
Duo made his way to the bathroom, where he pulled a small box from his pocket. It contained black makeup of some sort, and Duo dabbed two of his fingers in the stuff. "Alright... If it's clean he wants, it's clean he'll get..." Duo muttered as he put two stripes of the makeup on each side of his face. "Let's get sanitary..." He growled as he ran from the bathroom to find a vacuum. He searched through several closets before finding a vacuum cleaner, and once he did, he immediately began to clean. "I wonder who this 'friend' of Heeros is?"  
  
59 minutes and 47 seconds later...  
  
Quatre entered the room. "WOW! Duo, you managed to get this place spotless! Even my servants have never been able to get any of the rooms this clean..." Then Heero shoved past Quatre. "Good, it's clean. My friend should be here just about..." The doorbell rang. "Now." Heero ran to the door and flung it wide open. "Bill! How are you doing?" Then Bill Clinton entered the house. "Greetings, fellow Americans..." He greeted them. "Bill? Duo's the only American here." Bill frowned. "Oh. Well, fine then. Um... You said there was going to be food..." Heero nodded. "Quatre? Is dinner ready yet?" "Yes, we can go eat now."  
  
Duo, after several minutes of silence, began to get bored. He decided to make some conversation. "So, uh, Bill, have you..." Bill jumped up and, with a mouth ful of turkey, said "I did not sleep with that boy!" pointing at Heero. "Uh... Good for you... I never said that you did. I have, though!" Quatre choked on a mouthful of turkey. "Well, at least it worked on one person. I have never slept with Heero." Bill nodded his head. "Yeah, you tell 'em. They believed me when I said that, so it should work for you, too." Duos eyes widened. "Huh? You mean you slept with Heero?!" Bill shook his head. "No." Duo nodded his head. "Oh,, okay then." "See? It works."  
  
Quatre decided to attempt some conversation. "You know, there are a lot of people..." Bill interrupted yet again. "Yes, there are too many people in the world. I say we blow up Asia, that should solve the problem. In fact, I'm just going to call the pentagon and..." Duo tapped Bill on the shoulder. "Not a good idea, buddy. You're in Asia right now. You blow up Asia, you go ka-boom too." Bill nodded his head. "I see your point. So, you're saying that presidents aren't immune to bombs. That's a very good arguement, so I'll believe you for now. HOLY SHIT, A HIPPO!" Duo, Heero, Quatre, Bill, and a large amount of Quatre's servants all turned towards the window to see a huge hippopotamus lumbering towards them.  
  
Probably not as good as the original, but I did my best... I'll leave this for someone else to pick up. Even though I know it'll be Lady Lye, 'cause I'm about to read the chapter she wrote to continue mine right now. Um... Read and review! Ciao.... 


	3. 

Whoo hoo... No one else picked it up so it's back to me again...  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Two by Lady (better this time, I promise...)  
  
  
  
  
Heero, Duo, Quatre, and Bill Clinton stared at the hippopotamus in the   
window. It shnuffled it's way up and fogged up the window with it's   
stinky seaweed breath. Another appeared behind it and the group still   
hadn't moved.  
  
"Do we even get those in this area?" Quatre asked, stunned.  
  
"Well we sure don't get 'em in Arkansas!" Bill said.  
  
"Well we're not in Arkansas..."  
  
"oh, right... I keep forgetting..."  
  
Suddenly, Wufei appeared behind the hippopotamus, waving to them. Heero   
went to open the window. "Hello- meet our next mission."  
  
"Pardon?" Duo blinked.  
  
"Our next mission is to take these hippopotamusses to the Sank Kingdom-   
Noin and Zechs need them."  
  
"Hippopotami," Quatre corrected.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"Um, do I want to ask what it is they're planning to do with these poor   
animals?" Duo asked.  
  
"I doubt we want to know," Heero told him.  
  
"Ok. Not gonna ask then."  
  
It's funny... you think you've come up with the perfect machine. It's   
virtually impervious to any attack, it somehow camouflages well, and   
you've got the best pilots in the world taking it under command. But what   
the hell happens when you have to stuff several hippopotami in each of   
these cockpits with your world-class pilots and have a cheeky,   
mischievous, former US president pilot the fifth suit?   
  
"Weeeeeeee-hah! This is dang fun!" Bill said from the seat of   
HeavyArms. A big, brown hippopotamus shnuffled the screens in front of Bill.  
  
"Trowa's gonna kill us..." Quatre muttered.  
  
"Hey, he lost out- he didn't have to go visit Catherine this weekend,"   
Heero said sensibly. "Now let's go."  
  
"WWWWHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" All the pilots sweatdropped...  
  
"Man... this better be worth it," Duo muttered. He elbowed a hippo out   
of his way. "Watch it! I'm trying to drive here! Uh- Oh- WOAH..."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ok I can just imagine one response to that... but we'll see, kk?  
  
So whut'd u think? Did it suck? Was it WONDERFUL? Is it WAY to soon to   
tell just where this is going?   
  
R&R!  
  
-Lady  



End file.
